[LUNI] online purchasing

[Martin Maney]

On Tue, Nov 26, 2002 at 05:27:55PM -0500, Steve Litt wrote:
> What shopping carts are U guys using? Are there any open source perl based 
> shopping carts that work with authorize.net? How bout PHP based open source 
> shopping carts that work with authorize.net?

Shopping carts are passe.  What you really want are the next big thing
in online commerce: Shopping SUVs!  The metaphor is the thing, and this
is a GREAT one: the customer is driving this SUV down the aisles, see,
and if it bumps something off the shelf HE HAS TO BUY IT!  Of course,
this may take some getting used to, so it's best to stock the
most-bumped shelves with cheap junk at first - think of it as a chance
to unload all those square tuits you foolishly bought during the
dot-com explosion.

Of course, there's a chance that customers will get to be too good at
steering the SUV.  That's where the almost-patented - well, we've shown
it to a lawyer once - Virtually Really (tm) technology comes in. 
Y'know how with a real SUV things would sort of loosen up as the
vehicle ages?  Well, with Virtually Really (tm) Shopping SUV
technology, it can happen to your customers!  And best of all, because
it's a simulation technology, it isn't restricted to boring real-world
rate of change limits.  Imagine the possibilities - you might even
unload those tacky computer slippers - the ones with the polyester
anti-static lining.  Really, you should have know that there was a
reason they had two warehouses full of them.

But only if you act today!!!

Just...  huh?  Whatta ya mean off-topic?  How can this EXCITING new
online money-stealing technology possibly be o ;o 09jf aoj 43

<fx: bad artificial computer voice>
Pirate message intercepted, screen cleared.

-- 
In terms of utility rather than dollars, I can spend "nothing"
(which to a first approximation is the value of a dollar out of my
weekly budget) to get a non-zero chance of completely changing my
life.  Or, in yet other terms, I can just wait for them to send me
the check by mistake, which can't be *that* much less likely than
actually winning [the lottery].  -- David Dyer-Bennet